Election Endorsements

[We are at the headquarters of the "Vote for Bart" presidential campaign, where the professor has promised us an update on the progress of the campaign.]

Dear Friends and Supporters...It's wonderful to have a chance to visit with you again and reassure you that things are moving our way out on the campaign trail. It is an intense political campaign that you and I have undertaken, and I want you to know that I am deeply committed and totally devoted to this effort. I am spending at least five minutes every day (well, maybe it's every other day) to the "Vote for Bart" campaign and, this intensive effort is paying off...the campaign is gaining a lot of momentum. Why only this week we managed to pull in endorsements from several big names: the King of Norway, for example, along with the Mayors of Buffalo and Atlanta. I don't think any other candidate can match that!

What?...one moment please, my committee wants a word with me...

It seems that the committee members feel that it might be important to mention that I was talking about Mr. Orville King who lives in Norway, Maine...I tried to explain that no one really cares which King of Norway it is...he is, after all a King and he lives in Norway. That is the absolute truth. And we think it is just possible that he may have endorsed me along with, as I previously mentioned, those great leaders of two of this nations most important cities.

What?...not again! One moment...I really must do something about this committee.

Okay...well, here it is. Apparently I was not completely clear about the mayors of Buffalo and Atlanta either. Although it is just a minor point, I should perhaps have noted that I was talking about Buffalo, South Carolina (pop. 1,569) and Atlanta, Illinois (pop. 1,616). I am sure that none of you would have mistaken for one minute my earlier remarks and thought that I was talking about Buffalo, New York and Atlanta, Georgia. There are some politicians who might try to mislead with statements like that, but you can be absolutely, 110% sure that I will never stoop to such tactics. Why only the other day, I was mentioning this very problem to my good friend and supporter Robert Downey, Jr. He agreed...

What? Please don't keep interrupting me...okay, so he's not exactly my friend...no, I haven't met him in person. But I am certain he would support our campaign...I mean, I did go to see Iron Man three times...and I bought the DVD. And what about the fact that I also went to Sherlock Holmes twice? Don't you think he'd take that into consideration? Don't you...

[It seems like this might be a good point to break off our interview with Professor Bart this week. Be sure to come back again for more updates as the "Vote for Bart" election campaign rolls across America.]