I hope you will all be watching for the "Vote for Bart" campaign in Monday's 24th-of-July parade. I don't know yet if we will actually make it into the parade, but the campaign staff is hopeful. We do have a few minor problems to hurdle first, however. The first problem is that we've had some trouble lining up a limo. The last I heard, we had been offered an old lime-green VW bug with pink flowers on the doors...hardly appropriate for a distinguished politician such as myself.
But the parade...ah, now every politician loves a parade, and I am no exception. Thousands of voters lining the streets just waiting to shake your hand...with their hand that probably hasn't been washed in a week or perhaps was just used to wipe their nose, or who knows what else.
And then there's the babies. You have to kiss the babies, I suppose. Not that I don't love babies, you understand, it's just the thought of what else has been touching those little cheeks...or what might still be hanging from their little noses.
Oh...and I forgot the horsey stuff...you know what I mean. I just don't know what I would do if I got stuck behind a bunch of horses. Yes, they do try to clean it up...those little clowns following the horses and scooping it all up...but there is always some residue. And if the parade is moving too fast they just can't get it all.
Well perhaps, since we can't get the limo, we...and I hate to disappoint those of you who were counting on seeing me in the parade...we may not make it this year. But feel free to pass out some "Vote for Bart" fliers if you do go.