Saturday, April 19, 2014

Professor Claims He Told the Truth

NEWS BULLETIN: Professor Denies Fabricating Story

For some reason, completely unknown to me, a few of my loyal readers questioned the truth of my story (you can read it here) about doing the splits at the Smith's store last week. This kind of reaction troubles me a great deal. As one who must keep his record untarnished in order to maintain the confidence of the voting public and the respectability of the political system, I felt I needed to respond to these unfounded accusations of dishonesty. I might have added a little color to the story to make it more palatable to the general public, but this is nothing more than what is commonly accepted among those involved in political life.

So, to provide the media and my loyal followers evidence for the incident, I have included the picture below. Please, due to the nature of the photo, do not allow young children or old men to view this. It may be just too graphic for them even though I will say that my legs have always been one of my better features. I appreciate the opportunity to clear up these rumors. Sincerely, The Professor.


Jean Ohai said...

In my case, it was a piece of paper on the carpet that I stepped on just after turning out the lamp on the piano. I went down with a rip. I crawled on my elbows to the telephone and pulled it down to the floor and called my best friend. "Don't laugh. I've called and can't get up." She and her daughter took me to the hospital in her van. My back thigh looked just as wicked as yours did. My doctor said I could have bled to death. I believe you. You have my complete sympathy.

Urthman said...

Jean -- Thanks. I loved that you still had your sense of humor when you called your friend. --Bart