The "Vote for Bart" 2012 election committee has informed me that I need to be a little more open about my personal family life and help the public feel like they are all my close friends (which of course they are...I love the general public as long as I don't have to have them all over for Sunday dinner). Anyway, a few tidbits about me...let's see...oh yes, I love to read the world almanac, usually in that special small room with one seat and a fan.
I am also an avid slug and snail hunter -- it's quite relaxing...just get up early in the dim light of the morning after a rain or after the sprinklers have been on, take a small bucket and pluck them off of the hostas and marigolds...in no time you will have enough of these small creatures to feel very good about the upcoming day. And the best part is that the next morning there will be just as many back again to fill your bucket once more. They seem to come in a never ending supply. I have even thought of having my advisors look into this phenomenon...it may be that we could discover something to help the economy.
What was that?...I'm sorry but one of my advisors has suggested that perhaps slugs and almanacs are not quite the ticket to winning the public affection. So...what else could I tell you?
Oh, I know. Everyone likes food and so do I. In fact, I actually like to cook. Why for the 4th of July this year, I made a delicious potato salad (actually, I just boiled the potatoes and eggs, but they were perfectly done potatoes and eggs). In addition, my wife suggested that I make some homemade ice cream. This, of course, is a guy kind of thing because it involves something with a motor attached to it. She suggested coconut, as a flavor. Well, I had never made coconut ice cream, but as a progressive, action oriented sort of person, I did not let this deter me.
I buzzed off to the store and purchased two bags of ice, a quart of cream, and a can of coconut milk. I then returned home to the laboratory...er, I mean kitchen. There I heated three cups of good cane sugar and a cup of water until it boiled. This is always my starting point for ice cream. Usually I will then add a quart of pureed fruit or something similar, but this time I threw in the can of coconut milk (actually I just put in the milk and not the can), juice from about eight limes (maybe 2/3 cup of juice) and the juice from one lemon. To this I added the quart of cream and a pint of milk along with about a half-teaspoon of coconut flavoring. Then into the ice cream maker.
As luck would have it, halfway through the churning of the ice cream, the motor broke. This of course was no problem for someone such as myself with forethought and a clear vision of the future. I simply pulled out an older machine that I had neglected to send off to the dump and finished the job. The coconut-lime ice cream was a smashing success. I would heartily recommend it to any of my supporters.
I hope that this has given you more insight into the man behind the campaign. I also encourage you to spread the word about our cause to your friends and neighbors and, if you really want to win them over, share a little coconut-lime ice cream with them.