Saturday, April 12, 2014
My Uncle Richard's Secret Life
The word is getting out lately that I am the man to call when you are in need of financial help. Why recently I've had emails from new friends all over the world who do not seem to be able to solve their financial problems without me. For some reason most of these new friends seem to live in Africa in places like Zimbabwe, Nigeria, Angola, or even in Ouagadougou the capital city of Burkina Faso, that great African center of banking and investment.
But it is not just from Africa that I am getting the opportunity to share my financial prowess with new friends. For example, a couple of months ago, I received this letter (see below) in the mail, with a real Forever U.S. stamp on it and postmarked Oakland, CA, from a very kind man named Hiroyoshi Ohashi, who was in desperate need of my help.
I was shocked, of course, to see that my Uncle Richard, who is over 80 years old and lives a couple of miles away from me, had traveled to Japan to invest his hard-earned money ($8.5 million is not just pocket change, you know) and while there he had met an untimely end on a fishing trip outside of Osaka. I was a bit puzzled about the $8.5 million because my Uncle Richard had always lived such a modest lifestyle, and the fishing part was also puzzling since I was unaware that Uncle Richard ever went fishing. But then I don't see my Uncle that often, so perhaps like Walter Mitty, he had somewhat of a secret life.
Notwithstanding this secret life, his death was still very upsetting. However, his death, I am afraid to say, was not the most shocking part. The thing that upset me the most in this whole affair was that another man, who looks exactly like my Uncle Richard and appears to be about his same age, is now living with my Aunt Nancy in their home. I know this for a fact, because I and other family members have visited them. I can come to no other conclusion than that he is another man because my new friend Hiroyoshi is certain my Uncle Richard died in Japan in 2011. Even my Uncle's own children (Karl and Kendra) don't seem to realize that an imposter is now representing himself as their father. I have been struggling with how best to break the news to them. My friend Hiroyoshi suggested that it would be best to wait until I get my half of the unclaimed $8.5 million. It didn't seem to bother Hiroyoshi that Richard had children who might have a better claim to the fortune than I do. I could share part of it with them if I wanted, he said.
Well, I just wanted to get all of this off of my chest before I headed down to the bank to wire Hiroyoshi the $100,000 he needs to clear the financial hurdles of securing Uncle Richard's fortune and sending my half on to me. I will need to withdraw this money from my retirement account, which you might think is a bit of a risk, but I am more than happy to help out since he seems like such a nice man and he guarantees me that there is no risk and no wrong-doing on my part.
You can read more about these types of scams on the following web sites: