VOTE FOR BART CAMPAIGN
Dear friends and supporters, it is time for me to speak up on the financial crisis that it afflicting our nation. Both the Democrats and the Republicans seem to be incapable of solving this current mess and that is one more reason why you should vote for me.
Before I launch into my economic plan, let me remind you that campaigns are not without costs and I would encourage you to send me your contributions. Keep in mind, however, that there is a limit of $2,500 on what you can give as an individual. Of course, I have learned from my good friend and colleague, Mitt Romney, that it is okay for you to set up a corporation, donate perhaps a million dollars through the company, and then close it up. I don't know if I would have thought of that myself, but it is worth remembering.
Now, for the economic plan. This idea is very profound and yet I am surprised that none of my competitors have proposed it. The plan is simply this: print enough money to give every man, woman, child, and household pet $100,000. By my calculations there are about 312 million Americans and probably another 150 million pets. Let's just round the number off to 500 million total, pets and all. At $100,000 each, the government would have to print roughly $50 trillion dollars. Then...and this is the key to the whole economic plan...the government would collect all of that back in taxes--all $50 trillion dollars. That would easily cover the current debt without the American people having to spend any of their own money. And it would give the government a little extra in spare change to use for worthy causes like finding a cure for unsightly back hair, or creating a trust fund for bankrupt millionaires.
I am sure some of you are saying, "Hold on, that will never work. You are just collecting the same amount that you gave out." But if you think about it, the cost to the government is almost nothing for printing the $50 trillion dollars, and mailing it out. Yet they will get $50 trillion back into the bank! It's a brilliant plan and one more reason that you should spread the news about our campaign. And don't forget to pull that corporation together soon, so that you can donate more than the personal limit to the campaign. Thanks so much for your support!